Deliberate Receiving Read online

  Core beliefs are to normal beliefs what your operating system is to the software you install on top of it.

  Beliefs come in all shapes and sizes. Your belief about which coffee is best won’t affect your life nearly as much as a belief of unworthiness will. The beliefs that affect us the most are the core beliefs we have about how the world works and how we fit into it. When these beliefs are outdated and obsolete, they will cause the most ‘damage’, because they affect us and can keep us stuck in smaller limiting beliefs. A limiting core belief can cause you to hang on to a smaller limiting belief, even when you become aware of that smaller belief and the fact that it clearly makes no sense.

  In other words, if the core filter is for shoes, and the secondary filter is for blue shoes, getting rid of the secondary filter (blue) in order to look for jackets won’t work. You’re still only going to see shoes.

  * * *

  Case study: The world is full of douchebags

  Meet Sue, a woman with a core belief of unworthiness. At some point in her life, Sue decided that she’s not good enough – this is her core belief. This core filter causes her to only see search results that match her vibration. For example, Sue exclusively meets men who treat her like crap. She takes full responsibility for their behaviour, seeing their actions towards her as proof of her unworthiness. After all, if she were somehow ‘better’, they’d be nicer to her, right?

  So, Sue only has experiences with a rather small pool of men (only douchebags), and therefore any conclusion she comes to will be based on this limited data. After a couple of awful relationships and some even more awful dates, Sue decides that good-looking guys are not only douches (because ALL men in her reality are douches), they’re also liars. Every good-looking guy she’s dated (she’s dated three of them) has lied, so she concludes that this applies to ALL hotties. Now, she’s not only settling for guys who treat her like crap, but also for unattractive (to her) guys that treat her like crap, in an attempt to at least not be lied to. Basically, she’s doing her best to choose the lesser of the evils.

  Now, let’s say that Sue has begun to study Deliberate Receiving. She figures out that she has the false belief that all hot men are liars and comes to a new conclusion: hot men don’t have a monopoly on lying, and liars don’t have a monopoly on hotness. In other words, there are men who lie who are not hot and there are men who are hot who don’t lie. As she releases that secondary filter, hot men fill her dating pool again; she’s no longer limited to just the unattractive guys. The only problem is that they’re still all douchebags! This could, and often will, lead Sue to question her new decision, and revert back to dating unattractive men in an attempt to avoid the underlying, liar-generating belief.

  Of course, if Sue isn’t doing this work deliberately, it’s entirely possible that she’ll never let that secondary belief go (never mind the deeper belief). If she doesn’t acknowledge that she has a filter in place – that there are options available that she isn’t currently seeing – then she’ll only ever look at that pool of douchebags and come to conclusions based on what she sees. It would never occur to her that her observations might be wrong, that good-looking guys who aren’t liars even exist. In this way, the core belief of unworthiness would be perpetuating the secondary belief of hot liars. Basically, you can only ever base your assumptions and decisions on what you see, on the evidence you have, unless you’re willing to acknowledge that there’s a lot more evidence than you’re currently aware of; evidence to support ANY perspective, in fact, and are willing to go looking for it. You cannot see what you don’t believe CAN be there.

  * * *

  You can’t become a match to a frequency that you won’t even acknowledge exists.

  Limiting core beliefs can actually help in the formation of new beliefs that do serve us, but only when seen through the lens of a deeper, larger limiting belief. Sue’s secondary belief did serve her on some level – she filtered out the biggest liars. She chose the lesser of two evils, in her view – between good-looking guys who were douchebags and huge liars, and unattractive-looking guys who were douchebags but not such huge liars. In her mind, a douchey non-liar is better than a douchey liar, even if he’s not as good-looking.

  Core beliefs can help form and keep us stuck in secondary beliefs that make no sense, unless seen through the filter of the core belief. In this way, larger beliefs set up a support structure for smaller beliefs, creating a stable belief structure. The more stable a belief structure, the harder it is to shift.

  Before you go and get all depressed, let me point out two things:

  This same concept applies to positive beliefs and manifestations as well. A positive core belief will cause new positive beliefs to be formed, and will influence you to react in a better-feeling way to the manifestations that come into your reality, setting you up for a new, more positive Progression of a Manifestation. Positive core beliefs create the basis of a stable belief structure just as well as negative core beliefs. Remember it’s a mechanical process. It doesn’t care if you use it for ‘good’ or ‘evil’.

  Beliefs can be changed. Programs can be upgraded. Hard drives can be scrubbed clean.

  How, exactly, do you go about doing that? Well, that’s precisely what we’ll discuss in the next chapter.

  Chapter 6

  The Four Crappy Core Beliefs We All Share

  Our beliefs, all of them, are nothing more than automated decisions, freeing us up from having to think about every detail of our lives, all the time. They are like software programs we’ve installed to help us function in this physical reality. Our limiting beliefs are simply outdated programs – software that once served us well, but no longer does. And just as software can be uninstalled and replaced, so can our beliefs. In this chapter we’ll explore exactly how to do that, as well as which core beliefs (the granddaddies of all beliefs) can and probably are sabotaging our efforts to do so.

  Changing limiting beliefs (or upgrading our programming) is a topic that’s been, in my opinion, so overcomplicated that many people have given up altogether. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been asked to coach those who have read every book and tried every technique, only to be stuck still exactly where they don’t want to be, feeling worse than ever. They’ve often come to the conclusion that this stuff just doesn’t work or, even worse, it doesn’t work for them, in particular. They’ll ask, ‘What am I doing wrong?’ or heartbreakingly, ‘What’s wrong with me?’ There’s nothing wrong with them; they’ve simply gotten too caught up in the techniques rather than the process itself.

  Now, don’t get me wrong; there are a lot of different, amazing tools we can use to do inner work. I’m even sharing my favourite ones with you in this book. But in my experience, if you don’t understand the basics of WHAT a technique is actually supposed to do and the underlying reason WHY it works, if you don’t understand the process, you’re pretty much just poking around in the dark… with a very small stick. Wearing noise-cancelling headphones. With your entire body wrapped in bubble wrap… and the target is moving. You’re very, very likely to fail, is what I’m saying.

  It’s the difference between learning how to use a hammer and being taught how construction works, including which tools should be used for which job and why. Once you understand what really needs to happen, you can even jury-rig a solution, should you not have access to your tools in that moment. (You could use a knife instead of a screwdriver, for example.) If all you know is how to use a hammer, you’re going to be up poop creek without a paddle when you’re faced with a loose screw. If you try to use the hammer, you might conclude that the tool itself is useless (it’s not, when used with nails), that you just don’t know how to hammer (actually, even an expert hammerer would not be of any use in this moment), or that you’re simply not meant to enjoy the grandeur of construction. So, while techniques, which are simply tools, are great, I’d rather teach you the underlying process.

  So, here’s the simple, elegant explanation of how t
o change a belief. Ready?

  If all beliefs are simply decisions we made, conclusions we reached and opinions we have adopted as ‘truth’, it stands to reason that we could change any belief by simply making a new decision, coming to a new conclusion or forming a new opinion. And well, that’s exactly how it works.

  Five Basic Steps to Changing Any Belief and Releasing Resistance

  You can, in fact, change any belief by,

  Recognizing that your current belief is based on an incomplete set of data.

  Opening up your mind to the idea that more data, much of which will NOT support your current perspective, exists.

  Deciding which perspective you’d like to adopt (or just how you want that perspective to feel).

  Looking for the evidence to support that new, wanted perspective.

  Gathering enough of that supporting data so that you can accept this new perspective as ‘truth’.

  This little five-step process, which you’ll find repeated in Appendix III has the power to change your life. These five simple steps actually incorporate a huge shift in many of our society’s core beliefs. They represent a fundamental change in perspective. But before we can break down and dissect our core beliefs, we have to recognize the prerequisite to deliberately receiving our reality, without which these five steps aren’t even possible:

  We must be willing to acknowledge that another perspective, a better-feeling perspective, exists, even if we’re not yet able to see it.

  Remember, you can’t become a match to a frequency that you won’t even acknowledge exists. You can’t take conscious control of your hologram unless you’re willing to acknowledge that control is possible. You can’t fully master the game unless you’re willing to admit that it is, in fact, a game.

  Willingness is a concept that runs like a thread throughout this work. We have free will and so everything we do is a choice. Therefore, everything we do requires the willingness to do it, to face the outcome of what we’re doing. As we pull back the curtain more and more on the mechanics of how reality actually works, as we dig into the process further and further – and especially as we begin to apply it to our physical lives – we are required at each step to provide willingness.

  The Four Crappy Core Beliefs

  Now, this might sound like a no-brainer. After all, if you weren’t willing to change, why would you even be reading this book? Only, let’s be honest. There are a lot of people (and this is true for all of us at some point in our lives) who dream of change, who want change, who even demand change, but who aren’t actually willing to make a change. Wanting something and being actually willing to let it in are two different things. To bring it back into the realm of our Amazon analogy from Chapter 3, it’s the difference between ordering something and actually taking delivery of it. If you refuse to accept the package, there’s nothing Amazon can do.

  But while willingness is a prerequisite to using any reality-shifting technique successfully, it is, by itself, not enough. We’ve actually adopted several core beliefs in our society that will block this process from working, which need to be addressed before we can become truly Deliberate Receivers.

  Here are the four crappy core beliefs that tend to get in the way of us applying the Five Basic Steps to Changing Any Belief and Releasing Resistance:

  Crappy Core Belief #1: There is only one truth

  Much of our society runs on the premise that someone’s got to be right, making everyone else wrong. There is only one truth and, when you find it, it’s your responsibility to make sure everyone else finds it, too. In fact most conflicts, wars and disagreements are caused by people insisting that, first, their view is the single, correct one; and, second, that everyone else must now agree or be destroyed/banished/shamed into compliance.

  Except, here’s the thing; as I explained earlier, we’re all sort of ‘wrong’ all the time. Every opinion is based on an incomplete amount of data. Every. Single. One. And that’s OK. We are not meant to agree. This game is set up for diversity, not standardization and uniformity. Why do you think there’s so much diversity in the world, anyway? Each of us has access to a (sometimes only slightly) different set of data. Each one of us can only see, experience and process so much. If we tried to take in every single detail that is possible to experience, we’d go bonkers. Have you ever tried to remember, let’s say, 20 things on a shopping list, only to forget about half? Now consider what it would be like to keep track of an infinite amount of stuff. Does that sound even remotely fun to you? Our brains would shut down. We’d lose the ability to interact with each other or even to be consciously aware. We’d just be sitting there processing, seemingly comatose, and we still wouldn’t even scratch the surface of perceiving what’s possible. Our human-brain computers aren’t designed for this purpose, in fact just the opposite.

  We are perfectly designed to observe and experience one unique perspective at a time. We’re not built to multitask, which isn’t actually possible. We cannot fully focus on two things at once, but we can switch back and forth rapidly, sort of splitting our focus between the two, often half-assing each one, but never truly doing either one justice. We are focusing machines, able to immerse ourselves in any experience to the degree that it blocks out all other possibilities. In other words, even though our perspective is always, by design, limited, this limitation allows us to experience any set of narrowed-down data FULLY.

  When we experience a perspective fully, to the exclusion of any other thoughts, when we engage in a full-sensory experience (meaning that we are completely aware of our senses), we enter into a state that’s often referred to as being completely in the NOW. This is our natural state. This is when we are at the height of our focusing power. This is when we step outside of space and time (which is why time can speed up or slow down in this state). This is ‘the zone’.

  When we are purely in the NOW, we are observing and experiencing, and nothing else. We are not judging. We are not concluding or deciding. We are not processing. We are simply letting the experience be what it is. And because we’re not offering any of those behaviours of resistance in this state, because we’re completely in a state of allowing (letting it be what it is without judgement), we are, invariably, feeling good.

  Deciding that there is only one truth is the complete antithesis to being in the NOW. It goes against the very fabric of how reality is constructed and what we’re here for and how we are designed. When we’re in the NOW, we are experiencing a set of narrowed-down data (narrowed down enough so that it leads to a singular experience), and this experience is meaningful. We resonate with it. It makes sense to us. We have clarity. We can feel its importance, its significance.

  But then, we decide that this feeling must mean that THIS is the ONE truth, the one perspective that applies to all. Only, it can’t be. By our very design, we each have a different perspective. We each look at a different set of data. We each have a unique experience of that data. The real value lies in fully experiencing that data – all of it, something that no one can do alone. Collectively, however, we have a far better chance.

  Think of it this way: You’re in a group of ten people, and all of you want to know what every part of the world is like. You have two options:

  You can each spend years and years travelling around the world, trying to get to know as many cultures as possible. But, even after a lifetime of travelling, you wouldn’t have even come close to seeing the entire globe.

  Or, you could each choose a section of the world to explore fully, and then get together and share your experiences via stories, pictures and videos.

  Which option do you think would yield the most complete results? Which one would lead you to getting to know the most about the world’s cultures? The second one, of course: ten people can accomplish far more than one person when they work as a team and share their experiences with each other.

  Diversity exists because it has to – we are each designed to experience a section of reality and then grow by shari
ng the data we’ve observed and processed (experienced) with each other. Our different cultures, religions, backgrounds, geographical locations, genders, sexual preferences and belief systems are what make our unique perspectives possible. They are what shape many of the filters through which we each experience reality.

  When we try to force someone to see things our way, we are ignoring this integral part of the game’s design, which is why it never works. You can’t force someone to see things your way, because it’s impossible for them to do so. They can only ever see things their way. Now, you could come to the same conclusion based on different sets of data, and when that happens, it’s very exciting (which is why we love it so much), but we can’t manipulate each other into doing so. What’s more, in our desperate quest for uniformity, we completely miss out on all the amazing data we can share with each other, and the expanded view of the Universe that comes with it.

  The Five Basic Steps to Changing Any Belief and Releasing Resistance depend on the recognition that there is no one truth, but that we each have our own, and that we get to (and really have to) change that truth frequently. Your opinion is not THE truth; it is YOUR truth (for now…). Every single perspective is really just an opinion (or you can call it a theory or even hypothesis, if you like) based on incomplete data. As you gather more data, your opinion will (and should) change. This is how we grow and evolve. And, of course, if you’re willing to acknowledge this for your own set of beliefs, then you have to do so for everyone else, as well.

  Crappy Core Belief #2: We can’t get what we want

  The idea that sometimes, often – hell, more often than not – we can’t get what we want, is a pervasive one. Many people operate on the premise that life is hard and full of disappointment (disappointment is the norm), but that if we’re lucky or we work hard enough, we can get a glimpse of the good stuff every once in a while. Now, people will have a lot of secondary beliefs based on this one, which help to justify the core belief, such as ‘I can’t get what I want because I don’t deserve it’, or ‘because I’m not worthy’, etc., but the core belief that builds that structure is the conclusion that we’re playing an unwinnable game.