Deliberate Receiving Page 11

  Let’s begin by looking at the definition of emotions. Keep in mind that these are my definitions. If you don’t agree with any of them, that’s OK. Remember that, at its core, this is all about feeling better. If linking a definition to a different term helps you to do that, then go for it. These definitions will, however, help me explain the process of releasing even the most stubborn of limiting beliefs.

  Definition of emotions

  Boredom: The feeling of being idle, of not letting yourself move forwards. This feeling can actually occur at any point in the Spectrum.

  Deep depression: A feeling of numbness caused by severely suppressed anger; of being disconnected from the self and the world. Nothing matters.

  Total powerlessness: Like lying down and letting yourself get beaten, without having the strength or motivation to do anything about it.

  Total despair: A feeling of deep, overpowering sadness; one step up from depression. Feeling trapped, having given up on the idea that anything can be done about it.

  Shame: A feeling that you are wrong (as opposed to having done something wrong). You are bad in some way. Not good enough.

  Guilt: A feeling that you have done something wrong. This is often coupled with shame (‘I have done something wrong because there’s something wrong with me’), but doesn’t necessarily have to be.

  Severe insecurity: The world is a hostile place and you are not safe. This emotion spans both depression and shame, depending on the severity of the insecurity (can you make yourself a little bit safe by appeasing others, or not at all?).

  Fear: See severe insecurity (above) because they’re the same thing.

  Unworthiness: The feeling of not being good enough.

  Self-blame: The feeling that everything is your fault, especially when others feel bad for any reason.

  Fake gratitude: The feeling you get when you’re trying to be grateful to some hostile power outside of yourself, either to appease them or because you’ve been told you should be. It’s fake because being grateful out of obligation or in order to get something (even safety) is not gratitude. It’s powerlessness and often a form of manipulation.

  Resentment: The feeling you get when you are giving more than you actually want to give, doing things not because you want to, but out of obligation.

  Blame (blaming others): The feeling you get when you naturally turn your self-blame outwards, allowing the energy to flow out, rather than inwards (self-blame). Healthy when practised deliberately, constructively and temporarily.

  Hatred (intensified blame): This happens when you’ve suppressed the anger and urge to blame for too long.

  Revenge (severely intensified blame, usually even more intense than hatred): This happens when you’ve suppressed the anger and urge to blame and hatred for too long.

  Anger: The feeling you get when you’re finally sick of the world beating you up, and you’re ready to stand up and fight back. This emotion takes you out of powerlessness.

  Rage (intensified anger): Happens when you’ve suppressed anger for too long.

  Jealousy: The feeling you get when you want something that someone else has, and believe that because they have it, you can’t. Belief based on scarcity (there’s only so much to go round).

  Envy (a lighter form of jealousy): Pure envy is simply wanting something that someone else has; it is jealousy without the component of scarcity.

  Pessimism/negative expectation: A negative perspective, more trust in the fact that things will not work out rather than that they will.

  Frustration: The feeling that you can and should receive what you want, but that it’s just out of reach. A feeling of ‘Why is this not working?!’ Also a sign that you are trying to take action too soon and make something happen.

  Discouragement (a lighter form of pessimism): You still trust the negative more than the positive, but you’re not really sure of it.

  Contentment: Neutral, with a slightly positive focus. You are no longer feeling pain, but there’s not yet much pleasure. Some people also use the word contentment to describe the state of appreciation, but for the sake of clarity, I’m going to be sticking with the ‘neutral’ definition.

  Hope (a ‘lesser’ form of optimism): You are willing to trust the positive more than the negative, but aren’t quite sure of it.

  Optimism: You are willing to trust the positive more than the negative.

  Gratitude (a ‘lesser’ form of appreciation): Appreciating what you have, but still being beholden to some outside power to some degree (i.e. ‘I’m grateful that I received this from…’) This is not to be confused with fake gratitude or appreciation, although many people use them interchangeably.

  Positive expectation: The feeling of trusting that good things will happen. Can be dampened if the expectation is too specific.

  Enthusiasm (usually less controlling than positive expectation): The feeling of trusting that good things will happen and looking forward to them.

  Appreciation: Simply seeing the good in what is in your reality right now.

  Celebration (appreciation on steroids): Unconditional appreciation.

  Love: The feeling of focusing on something with only appreciation.

  Unconditional love: Focus on something with only appreciation, and without any need for the object of our focus to give anything back.

  Joy: The feeling of being totally in the NOW.

  Passion: The feeling of being totally in the NOW, engaged in inspired action.

  Full empowerment: The knowledge that not only is everything always working out for you, but that everything happens in response to your vibration.

  You may notice as I introduce you to the emotional groups that some of these emotions can actually fall into more than one group, depending on how the label (the word) is used. Once you understand the belief systems that underlie each emotional group (which we’ll explore in Chapter 8), it will be easy for you to figure out exactly where you are on the Spectrum by how you feel, regardless of what label you give it.

  The seven emotional groups in the Spectrum of Empowerment

  Now, using Fig. 2 (see opposite), let’s look at each of the emotional groups in turn. At the very ‘bottom’, you have emotional group 1, DEPRESSION (utter despair, deep depression and a feeling of total powerlessness). At the very ‘top’, you’ll find emotional group 7, JOY (love, passion, joy, full empowerment and celebration).

  So, the Spectrum takes us from ‘total powerlessness’ – a sense that random bad stuff just happens to us while there’s nothing we can do about it – to ‘full empowerment’ – a sense of complete control over our reality, and a knowing that we can not only choose to experience whatever we want, but that we have the skill actually to do so. This is why it’s called the Spectrum of Empowerment. Every emotional state in between these two extremes represents a different degree of empowerment.

  When we shift from one emotion to another, we either become more empowered (which feels better), or less empowered (which feels worse).

  Looking at Fig. 2, you may notice that the HOPE group is placed just to the right of the ‘neutral point’ (Zero Point). This is no mistake. Remember that the Zero Point is neutral (not bad, not good) and represents the dividing line between being problem-oriented and solution-oriented. These emotions of hope signify that you’ve crossed the threshold – you’ve raised your vibration to the point where you now have access to solution-oriented thoughts. But why wouldn’t we have access to these types of thoughts throughout the whole Spectrum? Isn’t that a design flaw? Wouldn’t it be easier if we could access solutions from anywhere in the Spectrum? Well, actually you do, sort of. You see it’s not that someone is keeping you from accessing those types of thoughts in the higher part of the Spectrum. They’re always there for you to access. It’s just that when you’re vibrating at lower frequencies, you can’t receive or experience those thoughts. You can’t manifest them. Someone could be literally smacking you in the face with the solution you’re looking for and you would
n’t recognize it as such.

  Fig. 2: Emotional groups in the Spectrum of Empowerment

  If you’ve ever tried to give someone a solution to their problem, one that was glaringly obvious to you, and they just wouldn’t hear of it, much to your frustration, you’ve experienced this phenomenon. They could not recognize the solution for what it was. It didn’t make sense to them; it didn’t resonate. Even if it was clear as day to you, they weren’t hearing it the same way as you were. They didn’t have your perspective. And that’s what this is all about – perspective. If you’re climbing a mountain, your view or perspective is going to change. The higher you go, the broader your view. Things that were totally invisible to you in the valley (lower vibration, limited view) become really clear and obvious when you’re higher up (higher vibration, broader view). You have access to information, data and solutions that you simply couldn’t observe in the valley. There’s nothing wrong with being in the valley, but you can’t expect to have the same view as you would on the mountaintop. If you want that view, you’re going to have to go higher.

  Again, let me reiterate my point about not judging (ah, judgement – that sneaky bastard will creep up on you). You are not being rewarded with more information for moving to the positive side of the Spectrum, just as you aren’t being punished with lack of information for being on the lower side of the Spectrum. This would be like saying that you are being rewarded with running water for going into the bathroom and punished with lack of running water for going into the living room. If you know how to move from one side of the Spectrum to the other, and you know that it’s not hard to get the broader view (clarity, solutions) you want, then you’ll stop thinking in terms of negative Spectrum equals bad, and positive Spectrum equals good. You’ll simply go where you need to go on the Spectrum in order to get the information or experience you want. The key is to stop throwing a tantrum because you’re in the living room instead of the bathroom, or because you’re currently angry instead of swimming in joy. Both serve their purpose. Just recognize where you are and plot a course to where you want to be.

  In the next chapter, we’ll take a look at each group of emotions and how they fit into the Spectrum in terms of empowerment, starting with the most painful emotions and working our way up (got to end on a high note…). I’ll also be mapping out which belief system corresponds with each emotional group. Later, in Chapter 11, I’ll show you how to move from one emotion to another and how to use this knowledge to attune yourself to the frequency of your choice.

  Keep in mind that the Spectrum is fluid. No one permanently hangs out in any one spot. And while you’ll usually occupy a certain range on the Spectrum (it’s unlikely that you’ll feel total passion in one moment and total depression the next), you can move about quite a bit within that range. So, while you may feel enthusiasm most of the time, you may feel anger on a certain issue. The key is not to demonize any one emotional group, but to recognize that all have value.

  Why we’re afraid of our negative emotions

  In Chapter 4 we discussed how your feelings are the key to manifesting what you want, as opposed to manifesting what you don’t want. The better you feel, the more aligned you are with the frequency of what you want. So, really, if you think about it, the secret to a happy life is simply to feel good. End of book. What’s that you say? That’s not enough? You’ve tried to feel better but couldn’t? You’d feel better if you just knew how? You’re getting annoyed at the fact that I’m putting everything in the form of a question? Fair enough.

  While feeling better should really be a no-brainer, it clearly isn’t. In Chapter 5 I explained that no one ever actually wants to be in pain. It may seem otherwise at times, because we insist on holding on to ideas that are painful, but it’s only ever because we’re avoiding something that we think will hurt even more. The only reason that we ever hold on to an idea that’s painful is because we have a belief that causes us to think that this idea represents the best-feeling option we currently have access to. Our limiting beliefs cause us to stay in a painful state. So, it stands to reason that if we find out what these beliefs are and shift our perspective, we’ll feel better.

  But how are we supposed to figure out what our limiting beliefs are? Well, it turns out that our belief systems can be mapped to the Spectrum. When we’re feeling an emotional response to something we’re focusing on, that emotion doesn’t just let us know if what we’re focusing on is wanted (positive emotion) or unwanted (negative emotion), it also gives us clues as to what kind of belief system we’re currently holding on to. Our emotions are pretty bad-ass in that way.

  At this point, you may be tempted to think, ‘Ah, so negative emotions are caused by limiting beliefs’, but that’s not entirely correct. You see, even if you had no limiting beliefs whatsoever, which isn’t possible since all beliefs become, by design, limiting at some point (they become obsolete), you’d still have some negative emotion. Negative emotion is simply a feedback mechanism that lets you know that you’re focusing on something unwanted, giving you the opportunity to notice that icky feeling and immediately shift your focus to something else. Your limiting beliefs are what cause you to keep on focusing in a way that triggers more and more negative emotion, as well as to ignore that feedback, no matter how uncomfortable it may get. So, technically speaking, while limiting beliefs don’t cause negative emotion, they do greatly increase the amount of negative emotion that we feel. This may seem like a tiny distinction, but it’s actually a pretty important one. As long as you think of negative emotion as a kind of punishment for having limiting beliefs, and as limiting beliefs as something you’re doing ‘wrong’, you won’t be able to receive the helpful messages your feelings have for you.

  As I said, even if we had no limiting beliefs, we’d still have negative emotion. It would just be much, much milder and much shorter-lived than it currently is. Consider this: nature on our planet is one wise system. Fruits and vegetables, for example, taste best when they are the most nutritious. A banana doesn’t fully develop its sweetness until it’s completely ripe, at which stage it also has the most benefit for us, nutritionally. So, early man and woman didn’t have to have degrees in nutrition in order to know which foods to eat in nature, they just had to follow their taste buds (this mechanism is still in place today, although the introduction of artificial foods has thrown that communication out of whack to a large degree. You can recover it, though, if you’re willing to go back to natural foods). The foods that were bad for humans also smelt and tasted bad to us (rotten food, for example). So, the feedback mechanism of taste is a pretty handy one. If you try some new kind of food and don’t like it, do you curse your taste buds, wishing your sense of taste would go away? Do you blame yourself for being some kind of failure for not liking this food? Or do you accept that your sense of taste has given you valuable information about this food and simply choose to eat something that tastes better?

  Our emotions, all of them, are exactly like this. When you feel a negative emotion, it simply means that you’re currently focusing on something you don’t like. The idea is to stop doing that and focus on something else, instead of demonizing the emotion itself.

  But, alas, demonize them we do (cue ominous music). In fact, we’ve been taught not only to keep our displays of emotions to a minimum, but to do our best to shut down the actual feeling of those emotions. When a child throws a tantrum and kicks another kid, we haven’t traditionally been very good about explaining that the anger they’re feeling is OK, and that it’s just the display of anger (the kicking) that’s not very constructive. Instead, we were usually taught that the anger itself was a bad thing and we should control it. Hell, not even positive emotions are safe. Excessive displays of joy are also shut down. A child’s squeals of laughter or excited plea for someone to come and share their enthusiasm are often met with commands to ‘keep it down!’ by tired and weary adults. Back in my corporate life, I was even once told that I was going to ruin my chances of being prom
oted to an executive management position because I was deemed too happy, and was advised to become more serious and sombre at work (because obviously, happiness equals immaturity.). We’ve done our best not only to diminish displays of emotions, but to get rid of the feelings themselves.

  This reluctance to engage with our emotions has done more to keep us stuck in our limiting beliefs than anything else. What’s worse, it’s all based on a misunderstanding. You see negative emotions in their natural state don’t actually feel the way most people think they do. Natural fear, for example, feels much more like reluctance than anxiety (except for life-threatening fear, of course). Natural anger is a quick rush of energy that most people would see as frustration. Natural sadness lasts a few minutes and would, by most people’s standards, be defined as feeling slightly down. What most people understand when they think of anger, fear, depression and the like, is actually the result of severely repressed negative emotion. Anger that has been stewing for years or even generations feels very different from natural anger. It turns into blind rage and murderous hatred. Sadness that has never been allowed to shift feels heavy and dark and hopeless. It turns into severe depression. Fear that has been allowed to be a constant companion, turns into panic attacks, anxiety and paranoia. The main reason that we’re so afraid of our negative emotions is that they’ve become so volatile, and yet the reason they’ve become so volatile is because we’re afraid of our emotions.